With all this talk about voter-fraud in past elections here at Brown, one truth still prevails. Voter fraud always benefits democrats. Shut up about Bush in 2000 and 2004. Voters, on the whole, were not disenfranchised by the republicans. There was no effort to make sure blacks couldn’t vote or make it hard for idiots to figure out how to punch a hole in a piece of paper. If you want real cases of voter fraud, it benefited JFK (possibly even being the driving force behind his victory), it happened in the Washington Gubernatorial race just a few years ago, and now it’s happening in Minnesota in the Al Franken/Norm Coleman race. Coleman won the race by a mere 725 votes. The race is close enough to trigger an automatic audit (which isn’t quite the same thing as a recount).
After votes had been 100% counted, 246 votes (from ballots attached to a strange date discrepancy that afflicted none of the other ballots) were suddenly found for Franken. 0 were found for Coleman. Two days after the election, 32 ballots were suddenly found after hours in Minneapolis. No credible explanation for their absence in the original count was provided. In Mount Iron Minnesota, 100 votes materialized when officials claimed that the person taking their vote count over the phone had misheard how many votes had been quoted. Interestingly, the same person misheard the results for Barack Obama as well. And so, despite the fact that the audit hasn’t even begun, Coleman’s lead has shrunk to a mere 221 votes. While nearly 100% statistically improbable, almost every single error has benefited Al Franken or hurt Norm Coleman. Franken has gained 435 votes and Coleman has lost 69. Moreover, if all this weren’t enough to raise your suspicions, according to FOXNews “the Senate gains for Franken were 2.5 times the gain for Obama in the presidential race count, 2.9 times the total gain that Democrats got across all Minnesota congressional races, and 5 times the net loss that Democrats suffered for all state House races.”
Here’s the deal, my 2 brothers and I, voted for Coleman. At this point, our votes constitute more than 1% of Coleman’s entire lead. My promise is this, if Coleman wins by 3 votes or less, I’m holding a “My Vote Actually Mattered” party. All of you can come. There will be a Franken cutout which we can parade around and bash into things for fun.