I know this has nothing to do with Conservatism or Brown, but I had to write this. It’s important for my sanity:
Dear Subway,
I love your restaurants. I am a college student, and as far as a meal goes, Subway’s a real deal. And since ya’ll instituted this $5 footlong thing, I haven’t been able to stop eating Subway. That is until, you started advertising for the $5 footlong deal with the commercial I’ve posted below. The tune is catchy, I’ll give you that. And yes, there are jingles that one doesn’t mind being stuck in one’s head (Mattress Giant, Coca Cola’s I Want to Give the World a Coke, and the Florida Gator’s Fight Song). But then, there are those tunes that are catchy, but that make a person want to kick themselves in the balls, gouge out their own eyes, and give themselves a frontal lobatomy in order to forget the pain that is being inflicted on them by the melody that they just can’t seem to get out of their head. Your jingle is the latter. It keeps playing in my head, and I just want to die right now. So Subway, while I love your food, I refuse to eat at your restaurant until you bring Jarrod back and/or find a more pleasant jingle.
Regards,
Joshua Unseth
I absolutely love how this is the highest rated article on this website, and it starts with “I know this has nothing to do with Conservatism or Brown, but I had to write this.”
Applause.